Relationships Matter
PRT Associate Sarah Beresford explains a recent adaption to the Child Impact Assessment resources.
Child Impact Assessments were developed to ensure that all children with a parent in contact with the justice system are listened to, respected, supported, included and understood. Although many children maintain a close bond with their parent in prison, and visit them regularly, this is not the case for everyone:
“I just don’t really want him in my life.”
Briony* (aged 15), whose father was in prison
Briony’s father spent several years in prison. Now that he has been released, she has decided that she does not want a relationship with him. Luna*, aged 19, says of her mother:
“She’s not really ever been a mum to me, so it was really annoying when people kept saying, ‘You must be really missing her’ when she went to prison. I didn’t miss her, but I felt I couldn’t say that. And when she came out, I felt like people wanted us to be one big happy family, but it just wasn’t like that.”
Luna and Briony are far from alone in finding the relationship with their parent difficult and complicated, and they are the inspiration for our recently adapted Child Impact Assessment resources. When we published the resources for children with a brother in contact with the justice system in October 2024, we included the section About me and my brother in acknowledgement that sibling relationships can vary enormously from family to family. This, of course, is also true for children’s relationships with their parents, and we have incorporated this element into the adapted resources published today.
Kelly Fiorini is Children and Young People Coordinator with Out There, a charity that supports families across Greater Manchester who are impacted by the imprisonment of a family member. She welcomes these adaptations:
“Every child’s relationship with their parent is unique, even within sibling groups. Developing a deeper understanding of that dynamic enables us to offer more tailored and effective help and support if needed.”
As laid out in the adapted Child Impact Assessment accompanying notes (a guide for those supporting children), the experience of having a parent in prison varies greatly from child to child. Some children may not feel very close to their mother; for others, their mum may be like a best friend. Some children may hero-worship their father; others may be scared of him. For many, the relationship with their parent is a complex combination of feelings. For some children, the person they call ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ may not be their biological parent but is no less significant. Children may have been in a caring role for their parent before they went to prison, perhaps due to that parent’s mental health or substance misuse. This can add a layer of complexity to children’s feelings about the imprisonment; they might feel relieved that their parent is somewhere safe and that they are not responsible for them, but this might be hard to talk about, especially if they feel guilty about being relieved.
In some cases, people around the child may not realise the significance of the child’s parent being absent, particularly if the child was not living with them prior to their imprisonment. People in the child’s life may inadvertently minimise the impact by explicitly saying (or implying), “You’re better off without them anyway.” This can make it hard for children to ask for support. Understanding the kind of relationship a child has with their parent is now an integral part of the Child Impact Assessment.
Out There staff have been using Child Impact Assessments with the children they support for several years now.
“They are really helpful in understanding what each child needs and creating an action plan to respond to those needs.” Kelly says. “We support children in a range of complex situations: those who would like a relationship with their parent in prison but are not allowed; those who no longer want contact but feel guilty or uncertain about these feelings; those who maintain a close bond to their parent but read things in the media that portrays them in a negative way; children who are unaware of why their parent is in prison and have questions; and children who feel a mix of emotions and need a space to express their feelings safely. We are there to listen and refer children to specialist support if needed.”
Child Impact Assessments are underpinned by the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, as explored in our recent Right here, right now! event. This includes the right to an opinion and for that opinion to be listened to and taken seriously (Article 12). However a child feels about their parent, or whether they have contact with that parent or not, the key thing is the offer of support. For Briony and Luna, being able to talk honestly about their feelings is important. These new resources will provide a framework for that conversation and enhance the support that they, and others like them, receive.
* Names and identifying details have been changed to preserve anonymity
Sarah can be contacted directly on sarah.beresford@prisonreformtrust.org.uk
Child Impact Assessment resources
Find more information about Sarah’s work on Child Impact Assessments.
